Saturday, 22 October 2011

Weird Google-y Things

Now don't get me wrong - Google is a wonderful thing.  

Since it appeared in our lives, it has been helpful in sooo many ways.  

Like when you are watching a quiz programme and want to know the answer so you can sit there smugly, whilst the presenter procrastinates to string the programme out.  

Or when your offspring come to you in their erroneous view of you as the fount of all knowledge and you need to find out something quick sharp, before you and your intellect end up crashing off the pedestal upon which you have managed hitherto to remain.

But sometimes, Google doesn't half come up with some strange things.  

Recently I was looking at the Traffic Sources bit of the Stats page for my blog, and happened to scroll down to the bit near the bottom where it gives the search keywords that have led people to your blog.  And there amongst them was... 

side view of a barbed wire fence

Yes, exactly that.  

So three questions popped into my head.  Firstly, who is it out there that typed that into their Google search box?  And why?  (And let me stress right here that it was not just one such search, but two!)
And then why, when someone typed that in, did Google point them in my direction?

Thinking back though, I do once recall posting a photo of a barbed wire fence...





...and I guess it is a side view, so maybe I can understand this one.  

But then there was 

US navy sailor sunset

which brought two people to my blog only yesterday.  I am completely perplexed, and can't help but feel sorry for the unfortunate pair who arrived at my blog hoping to see a matelot, resplendent in his US naval uniform and perfect smile, saluting as his ocean-bound craft leaves port, with the sun setting like a golden ball on the distant horizon, and found only tales of failed attempts at bag-making, salvaged doors and vintage sewing patterns...

As puzzling as this were the results of a search I made earlier in the week.  I had planned to do a post on signs I had seen recently that made me giggle. (I gave up on the post due to the lack of photos, but will sidetrack into a summary right here.  First there was the one we saw just outside Andover, a couple of months back:

Uncontrolled Pedestrians Crossing

it said. As I was driving, I wasn't able to capture it on film! 
(Nor did I manage to snap the wild and un-co-ordinated pedestrians.)

 Then there was the one on a sheet hung across the front of a house down the road last weekend:

Happy Birthday, Diane!
60 years old.
And still in control of her bladder.

Utterly charmed, I'm sure she was!

And then this one (which prompted the Google search.  I will get back to that in a minute!)


Let's focus in a bit...


Now Mr U-t-B thinks I'm very silly, but it does make me want to find a young goat and go along for a drink, just to see how welcome we would be!   


(I  don't know why I've always hated the word 'kid' when used to mean 'child'.  I decided that, to back me up in my dislike, I'd look it up in the online version of the Oxford English Dictionary, which would confirm that a kid is, first and foremost, a young goat.  Here's what I found...



kid1

a child or young person

kid2

deceive (someone) in a playful way; tease

kid3

a small wooden tub, especially a sailor’s mess tub for grog or rations




That's me told!) 



When I was thinking about doing the post, I thought it would be mildly amusing
 to find a photo of a woman (which I'd pretend was me) 
with a goat.  

(Needless to say, I do not have a picture of me with a goat.)  

So I Googled 
'woman with goat'   


Don't!


Some of the images that pop up are a bit on the dodgy side 
(not that dodgy, but you wouldn't want your grandma to see them...)  


But amidst them all was also this picture...


...which was a bit of a Google-y bonus!

So, what strange keyword searches have led people to your blog (if you have one) or what unexpected results have you had from a Google search?

PS I'll admit it. I lied.  I do have a photo of me with a goat!


But it isn't half as good as the one I'd planned to use, masquerading as me...

From Google Images


7 comments:

  1. what a brilliant post...you made me laugh :o)
    yes google is wonderful and weird in so many ways!
    have a lovely weekend
    love jooles x

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  2. the strange world of the internet!
    very funny post....just off to find out the key words!
    xxx

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  3. I went on my stats in the traffic sources bit.....where it tells you where people have come from, I clicked on one I didn't recognise, and it was a porn site!!! Bit of a shock I can tell you, goodness knows what I have inadvertently put on to lead them from there, to me....eeeek, they must be so disappointed, to arrive and find knitting :-)xx
    The internet is a scary place x

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  4. Oh I've done that before and it always brings up weird stuff, I can't remember any at the moment. But I do remember a sign that makes me laugh in Tesco every time I go, it's on the Deli counter and it says 'We cut cheese in store every morning for maximum freshness' clearly the people who made the sign do not know that cutting the cheese also means farting, it makes me guffaw every time, and yes I'm well over 40 ;o)

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  5. Totally hilarious ! Giggling my head off- thanks !
    My newly found third cousin found me through my blog by googling a family relative !

    I had to be careful with today's post & didn't add a picture I had or there would be trouble ahead...!

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  6. Hilarious, one of my search phrases om my stats was "big footed mama"......a bit upsetting, lol, although one of my posts was bemoaning the size of my feet and another post was titled "mama's foot warmers" so I suppose google is doing it's job........but who was searching for a big footed mama, and why?

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  7. Great post! I've had a few strange searches too - would like to say that it makes me more careful when I'm searching, but of course it doesn't!
    Liz @ Shortbread & Ginger

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